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Religious television


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    Click for Selma, North Carolina Forecast

  • Troy's Blog
    Saturday, 29 July 2006

    Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew") .

    Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!

    Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

    It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird." 


    Posted by troylaplante at 8:43 PM EDT
    Updated: Saturday, 29 July 2006 8:44 PM EDT
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    Wednesday, 10 May 2006
    I am in a cartoon
    Watch me in a new cartoon

    Posted by troylaplante at 9:36 AM EDT
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    Thursday, 20 April 2006
    OK, so here is another entry
    Mood:  lyrical
    I have been neglecting this blog, pretty much by design. When I ran for office last year, I started using blogger.com for a web site where people could read what I had to say about the issues. After the election, I just kept writing in it and left this one alone, pretty much. Sorry. troylaplante.com is my other blog.

    I will write something here, anyway.

    I took the wife to the gun range today. Just before we decided it was a good time to leave, I was getting pimp slapped by my lovely wife. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

    She was shooting the Ruger 22/45, as she likes to do. She has a unique stance and grip that I have been trying to help her alter, but she doesn't want to change. Oh, well, at least she is shooting.

    A month or two ago, she caught a casing on her arm and got a small first degree burn, just redness. Last time we went, she caught one against her cheek that she felt, but no redness. Today, however, was da bomb.

    I heard "Ow! Ow! Ow!" and saw her dancing around, pulling at her shirt. A casing landed down the collar of her t-shirt and went into her bra. At first, I didn't know what had happened. Then I saw her digging at her bra, pulling out the .22 casing.

    Here's a little tip: It isn't polite to laugh your butt off at your wife's pain. I absolutlely lost it and couldn't stop laughing. I had to put down the rifle and just continue guffawing at her. Then the beating began.

    It seems that she didn't much care for my laughter or my finding any humor in this. She was so angry that she went back to the shooting bench, grabbed the pistol and was putting it back together. She pinched her finger pretty bad on the slide, which caused her to bleed profusely. She went out to get a paper towel from the bathroom to help stop the bleeding and a bandage. It was time to put things away at that point.

    I started sweeping up brass when she came back in to the range area. I was trying real hard not to laugh any more. Then she said something that just set me off laughing at her again. The beating resumed. I am still chuckling, she is no longer furious, and we are both relaxing at home. It took going to dinner for her to settle down. It was funny, though. At dinner, she took an ice cube out of the water glass and put it on her lower neck, where the hot casing left a nice red mark. She is complaining that she will be permanently scarred, but I doubt it (baaaa haaaa haaaaaa, slap, slap)

    Before going to bed tonight, I will try to give a thorough inspection of the burned area. I'll probably get slapped some more for even thinking about it, laugh, and get slapped some more.

    Posted by troylaplante at 11:17 PM EDT
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    Saturday, 11 February 2006
    Now I have Hooters calendars given to me by two friends

    Posted by troylaplante at 11:07 PM EST
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    Thursday, 5 January 2006
    This was too funny
    Mood:  mischievious
    Some years ago, I got screwed out of over $3200 in back wages at one job. I took the corporations involved with the radio station where I was working to court. One corporation was a "ministry" that refused to admit to owing any money. He was pretty slimy about his responsibility to myself and other employees. He perjured himself in court and was able to beat the lawsuit. Everyone in the room knew that he was lying, and he was sweating "like a whore in church". Actually, that is what he is, just in a different way.

    As y'all may know, I have my web site up and running. As I wrote on my other blog, the site was featured in the "News and Observer" on Wednesday. Since then, I have gotten a steady stream of traffic.

    I got an email this morning that just tickled me no end. Here is what it said. I will hide the name of the sender, since he had no part in the earlier "screwing".

    ----- Original Message -----

    From: XXXXXXX

    To: admin@i9570.com

    Sent: Wednesday, January 04, 2006 5:26 PM

    Subject: Advertisement cost

    I go to the Light of Christ Outreach Center. How much would it cost to put a link to our website, and or an advertisement on your site? In addition to the church, the music ministry has started a music academy with professional teachers. I told the music director I would be keep my eyes open for innovative ways of publicizing it, so let me know about that too.

    The website, if you want to look, is www.thelightofchrist.org.

    By the way, I think your website is an idea whose time has come. We used to go to 4042.com, but it never really meant that much to me because it was way on the other side of the county. I just registered, so you may notice that my location is...

    -------------------

    The rest of the email is irrelevent to the point here. Wow, this is got to be my favorite eposide of "The Twilight Zone". Here was my reply:

    From: i9570.com [mailto:i95@i9570.com]
    Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2006 9:14 AM
    To: XXXXXXX
    Subject: Re: Advertisement cost

    Putting a link on the site is free for right now. You are also welcome to use the classifieds section to put up an ad free, as well. The same for our "add a link", which can be done from the links page. These services are free to all. If you want a banner type ad, Gene Bruton can write me a check for $3219.25, the amount he still owes me in back wages.

    -------------------

    The only reply was "Thanks. I passed the information along." I passed this along to a few friends who were also screwed over by that same pastor. I have already gotten positive reviews.

    Posted by troylaplante at 9:33 PM EST
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    Monday, 26 December 2005
    A good resource. It is worth checking out
    If you have never been to this site, check it out.


    Posted by troylaplante at 4:04 AM EST
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    Sunday, 25 December 2005
    The meaning behind the celebration of Christmas. A good review for us all.
    Mood:  celebratory
    The Birth of Jesus Foretold
    Luke 1:26 In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee,
    Luke 1:27 to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary.
    Luke 1:28 The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."
    Luke 1:29 Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be.
    Luke 1:30 But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God.
    Luke 1:31 You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus.
    Luke 1:32 He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David,
    Luke 1:33 and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."
    Luke 1:34 "How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?"
    Luke 1:35 The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called[3] the Son of God.
    Luke 1:36 Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month.
    Luke 1:37 For nothing is impossible with God."
    Luke 1:38 "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.

    Mary Visits Elizabeth
    Luk 1:39 At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea,
    Luke 1:40 where she entered Zechariah's home and greeted Elizabeth.
    Luke 1:41 When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.
    Luke 1:42 In a loud voice she exclaimed: "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is thee child you will bear!
    Luke 1:43 But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?
    Luke 1:44 As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy.
    Luke 1:45 Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!"

    Mary's Song
    Luke 1:46 And Mary said: "My soul glorifies the Lord
    Luke 1:47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
    Luke 1:48 for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed,
    Luke 1:49 for the Mighty One has done great things for me--holy is his name.
    Luke 1:50 His mercy extends to those who fear him, from generation to generation.
    Luke 1:51 He has performed mighty deeds with his arm; he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
    Luke 1:52 He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble.
    Luke 1:53 He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty.
    Luke 1:54 He has helped his servant Israel, remembering to be merciful
    Luke 1:55 to Abraham and his descendants forever, even as he said to our fathers."
    Luke 1:56 Mary stayed with Elizabeth for about three months and then returned home.

    Luke 2:1 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world.
    Luke 2:2 (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.)
    Luke 2:3 And everyone went to his own town to register.
    Luke 2:4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David.
    Luke 2:5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child.
    Luke 2:6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born,
    Luke 2:7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

    The Shepherds and the Angels
    Luke 2:8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night.
    Luke 2:9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.
    Luke 2:10 But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.
    Luke 2:11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.
    Luke 2:12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
    Luke 2:13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,
    Luke 2:14 "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
    Luke 2:15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."
    Luke 2:16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger.
    Luke 2:17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child,
    Luke 2:18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them.
    Luke 2:19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.
    Luke 2:20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

    Posted by troylaplante at 2:29 PM EST
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    Monday, 28 November 2005
    I saw this comment today on a message board
    "i have trouble going into walmart on a regular day - there's always some a.hole smackin and/or screaming at his/her kid in the frozen green bean aisle, a bunch of big BIG ladies in the electric carts whose only disability is 'fat 'n' lazy" and more mullets than i care to experience in an afternoon."

    Posted by troylaplante at 10:04 AM EST
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    Sunday, 27 November 2005
    The reason I have been quiet on the blog
    I developed another blog for the last election, which I have written about here. I was busy with pre-election stuff, and then I got to working on a new web site. I need to make this blog more up to date. I have focused most of my energy on the other blog, but even at that, I have not written much there. The reason is that for the last three weeks or so, I have been busy developing my new web site. Check it out. It is changing as I find more content, learn more about html, and find inspiration along the way.

    i9570.com

    Posted by troylaplante at 10:09 PM EST
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    Sunday, 13 November 2005
    Don't get Wenzeled
    If you have hours to kill and surf the internet, you will love this link. Some young punk tried to hose a buyer with a sale of some truck gears. The internet community on that web site struck back...hard. I laughed so hard, I almost fell out of my chair. Beware, however, that there is a lot of foul language. If you can look past what some people have written on the net, you will find hours of entertainment here. This message board is now getting famous, as is the punk kid who perpetrated the deal gone bad. Here is the link. Enjoy.

    Posted by troylaplante at 1:32 PM EST
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